Where Do My Wants Come From?

A lot of the things that we think we want are planted into our heads by third parties – usually marketers and society. 

Take a paper and write down the things you want out of yourself over the next 10 years. These could be anything, from having a wife and children to owning a sports car, to running a business empire, to have a high paid job, to living with the Shaolin monks, to getting revenge on someone who has wronged you – all of them, and it better be a long, well thought out list for the next 10 years. 

Now, think about each of these goals with an open mind and ask yourself :
• Do I want this or do other people want this of me?
• Did I want this or did some TV marketer tell me that I should want it?
• Do I want to own this, or do I just want to experience it? Will owning this make me happy or will I be just as satisfied by just experiencing it?

You will find that many of your wants are not your own. You’ll also find that there are many things you don’t really want long term; you just want them long enough to experience them.

Congratulations!  You’re already ahead of the average person – you know what you want out of yourself over a decade. Most people either have no idea (living with no direction) or are busy chasing someone else’s dreams.

You also absorb parts of other people that you think are 'cool'. You pick up "personality pieces" from TV shows and try to emulate whichever ones feel 'cool' to you. This is especially true if you have watched a lot of Sitcoms as a teenager / young adult.  To rid yourself of this programming, it is crucial for you to know your own life’s story. It’s crucial for you to reflect upon and study your past – where did you come from, what events shaped your life, how did you get to where you are today?

What you must do is simple (but slightly lengthy): write your own autobiography.

Pick up a paper and pen and write down the story of your life. Divide your life into as many parts as you like: Toddler, Middle School, Adolescence, High School, College, Job, Love, etc. 

Write as much as you can remember and write with your heart. Write about the events that took place in your life and write about how you felt and still feel about them. Try to imagine each story playing in your mind like a movie.

Be honest with yourself and do not alter the details just because you don’t want to accept reality.

I recommend doing this project a week or so. It should take you roughly 12-20 hours to complete, or maybe even more than that depending on how long you reflect upon each event.

Do not be in a rush and do not treat this like a goal-oriented activity that you’re trying to complete as quickly as possible. Take your time, be slow, and pause often to reflect. 

You do not have to show this Blog to anyone, nor do you have to publish it.

All you need to do is write it. While you write it, imagine your life playing like a movie in the background.

You will 'relive' a lot of emotionally charged moments of your life, and you will have new and old emotions come up from inside you. 

When that happens, don't rush and don't be in a hurry to move on, no matter how bad or uncomfortable you feel. 

Take your time to process these emotions. 

It’s okay to feel emotional or even to cry during this exercise. 

As you progress with this exercise, you will find that you feel much lighter, that you’ve finally accepted the past and moved on.

Far too many people spend their entire lives hoping for a better past and as a result, cannot enjoy their present and future.

You will also find that this exercise will make you more emotionally stable because you now understand yourself and who you are as an individual.



















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